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Giving In

The Moment That You Give Up is the Moment that You Let Someone Else Win. Kobe Bryant


Here she goes again! You might think.

Most of my blogs are born of curiosity and contemplation of thoughts, images, words or events that made my mind go...Hmmmm? Much to the chagrin of some friends and family, my brain refuses to accept things on face value and go with the flow.

Yes, I was always "that kid".

I have noticed, as the pandemic trudges on like some unvanquishable foe, some people around me really seem to be experiencing a Covid fatigue that borders on depression. So understandable, it breaks my heart to see their struggle. I started looking for ways to be of help. I came across the Kobe Bryant quote noted above, which seemed reasonable and on the money. Yet, it didn't sit well with me. It actually bothered me, but I couldn't say why. So, it became an uninvited guest in the McClintock brain, hovering, scratching at some place within my psyche, annoying me until I gave attention to the words and discovered why they did not resonate with me.

The key words that bothered me was : Let Someone Else Win. I mean, I get it, he was talking about competitive sports, where winning in the only thing. But how many have read the quote and applied it to their own (non-competitive) life? The concept that, if we are not winning, we are losing, assigns an inordinate amount of pressure to those who are just trying to walk their path.

The quote absolutely negates the concept that we belong to a tribe: that we NEED to belong to a tribe: a collection of supportive parts to make up our universal whole. Without such encouragement, external and internal supports, many of us (myself included) would not be able to survive much less "win". Even with a goal of achievement, where winning is important, we need each other to cross the finish line. I think about those I have worked with who were ready to give up, and how just the support and assistance from others, helped them to keep going.

Nature demonstrates every day how we work better together. Just look up to the sky and watch the geese as they fly by. Their instinctual collective support could serve as a lesson to all. They fly in a V pattern so as to conserve their energy. Each bird flies slightly above the bird in front of him, resulting in a reduction of wind resistance. But most amazing to me, is that the leader (the one facing the most wind resistance) doesn't have to face the pressure alone. When the leader gets tired, he drops back into the V, and another leader takes his place so that he can rest. The entire flock rotates the order so no one goose faces all of the pressure alone. If we could all grasp the concept that winning is not as important as working together, what a difference we would make.

If you are becoming discouraged or disheartened with all the stress and frustration of COVID, of lack of normalcy or even just some other nagging stress that is weighing you down...Find your tribe. All it takes to begin is one person on whom you can support and who will support you as together you walk. Similarly, if you notice that those around you seemed to be struggling, bring them into your tribe. Maybe you can just listen and empathize with their struggles. Even just that little bit can lighten their load and help them to keep going.

Don't give up. Give In. Allow others into your circle. You don't have to face everything alone.

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