If you were better, your mom would not have left you to get drugs
If you were tougher, you wouldn't have been molested
If you were smarter, you would't have blown your last three placements
If you were lovable, you would't be alone. I want you to take a few moments and just imagine hearing those messages playing on a loop in your brain. Would you feel worthy? Would you feel enough? The challenge for this week is to look beyond the swagger, the dismissive words and the behavior to the child. Where is it coming from? Anger is often an expression of fear. Of what are they afraid? You might find that the behavior that is pushing you away comes from feeling that they are not worthy of you, coupled with a debilitating fear that you will soon figure that out and reject them. Like everyone else. Sometimes just knowing the why...can help you find the strength to stand firm, not move away from them and to continue digging for the underlying issues in each traumatized child. It will be hard to resist their behavior, hard to justify sticking with them. But once they can believe that they cannot push you away, they can begin to focus not on protecting themselves from rejection, but on taking that leap of faith to begin the process of healing.
top of page
Search
bottom of page
Comments